A man can go 70 years without a piece of ass but he can die in a week without a bowel movement ~ Charles Bukowski

You took too much man, too much, too much ~ Hunter S. Thompson

I went on a diet, swore off drinking, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks ~ Joe E. Lewis

Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I am a cage, in search of a bird ~ Franz Kafka

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation ~ John Candy

Death is like an old whore in a bar--I'll buy her a drink but I won't go upstairs with her ~ Ernest Hemingway

If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don't respect him ~ Wil Wheaton

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home ~ W.C. Fields

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half ~ Feoder Dostoevsky