Nothing is worse than to finish a good shit, then reach over and find the toilet paper container empty.  Even the most horrible human being on earth deserves to wipe his ass ~ Charles Bukowski

By any accepted standard, I have had more than nine lives.  I counted them up once and there were 13 times I almost and maybe should have died ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it ~ George Carlin

I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police ~ Keith Richards

All thinking men are atheists ~ Ernest Hemingway

Payday came and with it beer ~ Rudyard Kipling

There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't ~ William Faulkner

Work is the curse of the drinking classes ~ Oscar Wilde

Never be lucid, never state, if you would be regarded great ~ Dylan Thomas

It pays to get drunk with the best people ~ Joe E. Lewis